I don’t need a committed relationship to be happy. I have absolute confidence in her, and I know she won’t forget the way she feels about me. I have no doubts about her. None. I have no trouble finding happiness in the simpler things in life.
I don’t know there’s much I can do here. This is just the way I am. She means absolutely everything to me, and it seems impossible for me to change that. I don’t know if I want to. Being with her made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I just feel so lost, so desperate, so confused without her. Any comments, ideas, suggestions, or positive thinking anyone could pass along would be greatly appreciated.
I was recently dating this girl in college for a good while, but she graduated and moved about 2 hours from where I live, while I still have 3 years of school left. We both realized it was going to be hard, but she said she needs time to adjust to living in the “real world”, and coping with that and trying to make a long-distance relationship work is too much pressure for her right now. It was really, really hard for me, but I eventually had to come to terms that this would be the only way I could continue our relationship, whether it be intimate or friendly. We’re currently in the “friend zone”, I try not to mention the whole “I love you” thing to her, and try not to think about how desperately difficult and depressing this whole matter is. I’m just…scared. I’m scared she’ll forget about the way she feels about me, forget about how completely happy we were, forget how absolutely perfect we are for each other, that she’ll get consumed in her new life, and there won’t be a place for me in it. Like I said, I’ve never been happier in my life than when I was with her, and I’m scared I’ll never be able to get back to that.
This summer away from her is an opportunity to find out a lot about yourself and grow into the person you want to be. Get excited about that opportunity.
Andy I believe that your everyday thoughts, feelings and actions can attract this person back into your life as a lover EVEN if they are 3 hours away.
Think about what this woman most finds attractive about you. Is it your laugh, you sense of humor, your spontaneity, your independence? Make a list.
Now, your job is to accentuate the traits and actions on that list, everyday and in all parts of your life.
This should be fun, as I am sure, nearly everything on that list will be things you actually want yourself to be more of anyway.
Focusing on this list, can help you get out of states of desperation, helplessness, worry, fear, or anything else you may temporarily feel when you think about your woman. These states will repel her, so you need to change your focus anytime they arise.
You can and will do this. Its going to be a great summer as your learn more about what you are truly capable of.